Hi, I am just begining the process of hopefully joining the army, got my first appointment in a couple weeks. I am a single mum of one, and just wondering if theres any other single mums joining or already in.
Always nice to get advice from people in the same situation. As someone who has had single parents working for him before, have you got a proper understanding of what you are trying to get into?
Do you have alternative childcare plans that can last, at short notice, for several months at a time? Can you cope with the seperation that will come with Phase 1 and possibly Phase 2 training?
I only ask this to try and ensure your eyes are open before you get to a point where you can't easily change things if it isn't for you. DesktopCommando LE 17 Oct But least you'll get a quarter for both you and your little one. Contact a few of the below for any details regarding welfare issues http: Do you really want advice or do you want reasurance for what you are doing?
A lot depends on how old your child is. If it is young then do you really want to be a mum? If it is older then do you really want to distrub their schooling? Being in the Army and having a child is hard enough with two parents but without the support of a partner to take on the child Joining the army as a single parent role it will be tough on the child, do you really want this for them? Are you planning on using family for support, if so are you sure that your parents want another child?
Are you being selfish? I've heard so many times mums saying that I want to do this for me. Well tough, you had the child now you look after it properly for the rest of your life. One of my friends is a single, serving, mother of two, and she struggles.
Joining the army as a single parent not just the long absences from going on tour, its little things like never going to a squadron p! Do you think you could cope with all of that? Can you handle the mentality whereby the Army comes first? Sapper War Hero 17 Oct Yep, at least the Army last more than 3 seconds The Army doesn't come 1st Old-Salt 17 Oct Once you get through narrow minded attitudes towards single parents you will find the Army has lots of support and Im sure that you have plans in place for when you WILL deploy.
Army life isnt all about piss ups and being 'one of the lads' as many married blokes will attest to. The maturity of parent hood and responsibilities that come with it, especially being single, will stand you in good stead when it comes to promotion.
Its good to see a single parent making a positive step, not just taking the easy option If you join, good on you and good luck.
However, this is not a decision to make lightly as a single mum: Deployment on ops is not optional - you will be expected to go and you will not have a choice - you will and must be able to make provision ofr full time child care when you deploy. Also, a six month tour can and does sometimes mean a bit longer and when you add in obligatory training, a tour can be a lot longer albeit with breaks in the training like the odd weekend.
You will also be expected to deploy on exercise if not on ops and these can vary in duration from a couple of days to months. Same detail - you will have to go and your child will be left behind and you will have to provide full time care.
Normal in barracks duties. Short notice overnight jobs, guard duties, late night working on occaisions, and so on, are all part of daily Regimental or battalion life. You will have to do these. Again, back to childcare. I do not want to put you off and every single mum in the military I have met not many makes great sacrifices to serve. Also, they have pretty much all had very Joining the army as a single parent family support with Grandparents normally bearing the brunt of the child support burden during absences.
Do you have such support? The bottom line is the Army will come first. If you can deal with that and the seperation from you child this will entail and you have a way of providing full time child care when you are not there, then join and good luck to you.
And you will have a rewarding, fulfilling Joining the army as a single parent for the time you saty in. But you must be realistic. Don't join under the illusion that none of the above will happen to you and the Army will let you stay at home because you have a child - it will happen to you, because at times it will be soldier first, mum second, no matter what you think. I wish you luck. Hey thanks for your replies I do have childcare planned out for my son, his dad has already said that whenever needed he will have my son and yes that will include short notice Joining the army as a single parent possible long periods.
I'm under no illusion that the army will treat me any different just because I am a single mum and thats another reason for me, as civvy street do tend to treat single parents differently, atleast they have done to me, I have been applying for many jobs and as soon as I mention being a single parent it practically kisses that job goodbye.
To me the army is a career and something I have thought about for a good few years, but obviously having my son I just thought it would just be a thought now, But for some reason this is still strong in me and I still wish to join.
Life is never crystal clear and at some point everyone has to make sacrifices. Yes so not seeing my son at times will become hard but not impossible.